Article Series - If You Remove Reason, You Remove Doubt
  1. Creating a Universe of Certainty, or, If You Remove Reason, You Remove Doubt
  2. Creating a Universe of Certainty, or, If You Remove Reason, You Remove Doubt (Part 2 of 2)

Here is a visual tour of the Answers in Genesis’ Creation Museum in Kentucky. I went with my dear friends Tom and Mike in August 2007. I’ll walk you through our experience exhibit by exhibit with my commentary.

Arrival

We reached the Museum in a caravan of three vehicles. Mike and I were heading on to St. Louis from there, and Tom had to return to Wilmore. I was driving a U-Haul

I was forced to park our U-Haul behind the Museum… can you guess why?

This was entirely a coincidence. Or providence. I prefer providence.

We entered the Museum and purchased our tickets – only $17 if you sign up for their email list! While I was in line, I overheard a family (the right proper nuclear family ™ – mom, dad and 3 boys) announce to the ticket-seller that this was their third visit to the Museum (open since Memorial Day 2007) and that they were seriously considering buying lifetime passes (a mere $1,000 per person, presumably adjusted for inflation). Once inside, we milled about looking at various odd displays before venturing into the bookstore.


The entrance to the bookstore… this was not, unfortunately, animatronic.

Inside the bookstore, we found this on top of a tall bookshelf:

Notice that it looks more like a dragon than a dinosaur. This is important for later.

On the way out of the bookstore, we saw this:

Now, you can’t really tell, but it’s a bust of St. George slaying a dragon (maybe the bookshelf dino’s sister or something?). Above it is inscribed a text from the St. George legend (myth?).

We left the bookstore (to return afterwards). On our way into the Tour of Biblical History, we passed an animatronic cave-girl feeding a carrot to a squirrel while anamatronic velociraptors drank from a nearby stream:

Who is that?! Eve? Lilith? Surprisingly, we found nary a scripture-bearing-placard to explain this bizarre scene.

And so, on that note, we began our journey.

Entering the Tour de Exhibits

Immediately upon entering into the Museum Proper, we were faced with a series of displays that forced the singular question upon which the Museum’s entire theology rests: Do you trust in Human Reason or God’s Word?

(we were unaware that the two are mutually exclusive).

Tom’s choice is clear. And if you guessed that the book at the bottom of the stack is Origin of the Species, then give yourself a prize!

You heard it here FIRST folks… the Bible does in fact speak about fossils. Buy this display, take it home and amaze your friends and family! (All rights reserved. Museum employees and their families are not eligible. Batteries and actual Scripture verses not included)

Awww! Look how cute he is! Are you sure we’re not related?

The choice is clear… we must follow either human reason and God’s word. But what’s the worst that could happen if we don’t choose God’s word? So glad you asked! Walk this way!

The Consequences of Following Human Reason

We next enter into an exhibit that displays the consequences of choosing Human Reason. First, a twisted hallway painted all black with news clippings pasted all over the walls. What news, you ask?

It’s a bit small, but you should be able to make out GAY and STEM CELLS.

Yes, this was the “the gays are going to clone themselves” wall (abortion wall not pictured). Apparently the only possible outcome of using your brain is that you become gay, then clone babies and kill them before they reach term. Clearly, brothers and sisters, human reason is evil and bad. How are we to stand before the terror of their cultural onslaught? Fortunately, we were then able to see some heroes who preserved God’s Word for us so that we could have good and true guidance that in no way requires us to think:

Here we see Abraham (who apparently carried around a huge scroll, or maybe it’s Noah?), Moses (with the original form of the 10 commandments in Hebrew complete with vowel pointings) and David (the wussy artist, sitting and playing his emo Psalms on his lyre – see how pensive he looks?).

I felt obliged to hop in along with these greats. Notice that my weapon of choice for delivering revelation from on high is a composition book. Is the color too gay?

This is Methuselah. No word on why being outrageously old counts as preserving God’s Word. Maybe they just put him in for the shock factor. Dude looks like the Cryptkeeper. If this is what being insanely old is all about, count me out. I want to go while I’m young and beautiful, not scaring little kids. (insert joke here)

According to the next display, the Jews are evil because the added Oral Tradition to God’s Word. Jesus (who, I guess wasn’t a Jew and didn’t use Oral Tradition) tried to tell them how silly they were, so they killed him. And then the Catholics came along and messed up Jesus’ teachings by adding a bunch of silly Church Traditions to it. So, last but not least, we are presented with the man who, according to the placard in front of him, saved us from the Jews and Catholics. Ladies and Gentlemen: Martin Luther himself!

Unfortunately, Luther was not animatronic.

Now that we’ve rescued the Bible from all those who doubt, what does God’s Word say about how we got here? Stay tuned for the next installment of pictures guaranteed to be more outrageous than the first!